This is blindingly obvious really. Everybody has heard of a Welsh Dresser, that substantial and robust decorative pine display unit which leans precariously against the wall in a kitchen, or indeed sitting room, in some cases dining room, and rarely, a posh entrance hall [pause for breath] - which has shelves and in some instances, little nooks and crannies, etc. Well, most folk proudly display their knick-knacks or amusingly-shaped teapots on these shelves, in order to attract a compliment or two from a passing guest. In short, they 'dress' the shelves. A Welsh Stripper, quite simply, is someone who UNdresses these shelves.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of egg-cups with cute little legs, my Auntie from Clitheroe has threatened to bequeath to me her precious collection of Oily Leathers and I'm shuddering in anticipation, nay - ignorance. Any ideas?

These are simply a form of home-made preserve. To be more precise, oily leathers are a type of marmalade where the "bits" in the marmalade are entire fruit skins. The name comes from the appearance and texture of these skins. Oily leathers are considered something of a delicacy, and are surprisingly hard to make (at least, such that the end product is edible). Futhermore, as they are an acquired taste, I advise you to approach them with caution.

Meanwhile, what's a tablet contestant?

One who takes an aide-memoire to consult in any potentially complex situation, such as being in bed with someone.

Just what are lucubrations, really? Especially epistolary ones.

I must admit that this took a while to come back to mind, but it finally did! If you ever went to Sunday school I am quite sure that this will ring a bell. epistolary lucubrations is the raw fear experienced by those of little faith when asked to quote a text from the letters of the apostles - it seems (for some as yet unexplained reason) to be more severe should that citation be sourced from the book of Luke.

Now, I came across this the other day and, says he hiding his head in shame, do not know what it means; we all know what "a penny for your thoughts" means, but what about "A quid for your pro"? Surely nothing to do with ladies of the night - or is it?

This was an early attempt by the World Health Organisation to stop mosquito bites by jamming their proboscis with a concoction of chewing tobacco and DDT. The "quid" in question proved very popular with the insect fraternity and when sprayed in the area was rapidly sucked up the proboscis(or Pro) however they used the human population as a mobile spittoon and the resultant spotty complexion resulted in wasting millions of pounds of a false measles epidemic.

During my wasted years in the local library I borrowed a book about nutty seepage which I lost after page six whilst the expedition was still being organised. What happened and what was it?