That miserable cur, Ebeneezer Thought Christmas a costly purse-squeezer Then four ghosts in his sleep Showed him how being cheap Made him quite an unpopular geezer.
What's red, fat and goes "ho-ho-ho"? One's stuck in my chimney, you know It's blocked up the flue And between me and you This prevents proper draw and smoke flow
The stockings were hung up with care But we snuck down and hid (on a dare) At eleven o'clock Me and sis got a shock: Uncle Frank and our Mam tot'ly bare.
There's a sleigh on me lawn, full of tat And a bloke lying near, red and fat It certainly gives pause To think Santa Clause Could arrive quite as plastered as that
Two tramps spend a long time in wait. "Let's go," one says, "Godot is late." "I'm sure that he'll come," Says the other, face glum. They don't move, but continue to wait.