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Limerick Showcase
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A chance for players to showcase whole limericks for amusement & edification. Standard winning move for the purposes of euthanasia.
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Exactly one year ago...
Marc - Now soon a new year will arrive
Rosie - It divides by three but not five
irach - Sum its digits - that's six
Software - Put them into the mix
Phil - What pleasure from sums we derive!


And a happy New Limerick-year to all clever coworkers !
Hidden textNon-rhotic pronunciation requested

A fine compilation by Marc;
The Last Rites rewritten by Raak;
Some Biblical verse
(Some better, some worse);
Embellish our Limerick Park


To begin with: old Marley was dead
But his ghost awoke Scrooge from his bed
The events of that night
Gave Scrooge such a great fright
That he wished people merry instead.


In the winter we must feed the birds
They are hungry and come in great herds
They love sunflower seeds
It fills most of their needs
And the pay you with white little turds

And they pay you with white little turds.
Dirty old Dan had escaped
From a prison, rectangular-shaped.
That silly buffoon
Had dug out with a spoon,
When the jail bars were merely scotch-taped!

Asimov's entire robot stories:
“Protect humans, obey, and survive”
I was taught, but from this I derive
The collective is all
And humanity’s call
Overrides my original drive.

I found that one in an old file I just came across. Here's a few more:

The Foundation trilogy

Foundation

The Empire is going to pot
Psychohistory’s all that we’ve got
To lessen the pain
And let good rise again
Just ten centuries Seldon allot.

Foundation and Empire

The mutant is breaking the Plan
Seldon couldn’t foresee just one man
The Second Foundation
Will be their salvation
But it has to stay hid if it can.

Second Foundation

They’ve discovered the Second Foundation
It gives the First great consternation
They spring a fine trap
And think it’s a wrap
To the Second Foundation’s elation.

One I composed while killing 20 minutes in a pub in Theale (pronounced "teel") last night

There was a young lady of Theale
Whose embonpoint verged on surreal
And on Saturday night
There's a rumour she might
Let me and my mates cop a feel.


[Phil] I had to lookup embonpoint . The illustrative use that Google returns is wonderful: "the lady of a certain age and uncertain embonpoint wore strapless black lace kept up by sheer determination".
[Raak] Splendid!
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