"I cannot believe it's not butter" Is a phrase that you won't hear me utter For I'd much rather spread Worcester Sauce on my bread And yet people still think I'm a nutter!
A topical Dutch limerijk lifted from Twitter last night: Er was 'ns een meisje uit Haren Die wilde opvallend verjaren Ze plaatste een linkje Maar miste een vinkje Nu zit heel #Haren op blaren It refers to this incident and translates roughly as 'There was a young girlie from Haren Who made a conspicuous lapse She placed a link But missed a tick Now the whole of #Haren blistered'
Apologies for this mid-limerick Haiku, but I saw the Nederlandisch limerick and assumed "anything goes". Wise sausage advice From young Jamie Oliver... Prick with a fork, right?
Again, stolen off Twitter this morning. There once was a man from Lahore Whose limericks stopped at line four When asked why this was He said: "Just because."
And to complete the set (not my own work): There was a young maiden from China With a feeling for rhythm much fina She stopped at line three. There was a young man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two. There was a young man from Verdun.
There was a young fellow from Merstham Who had boils on his bum and he cursed 'em When he sat on a chair 'Twas too much to bear So he got a sharp knife and he burst 'em.
But while I'm waiting for consensus, this was one was a corker thanks to Bobby Digital's superb ending line: Projoy: When darkness doth shroud the Black Sea Fat German: Milosevich nips out for a pee Norma: When missiles start falling JLE: While nature is calling Bobby Digital: Just do up yer zipper, and flee!
When the man from Del Monte said "Yes!" The peasants all made such a mess With their juices a-flow At tuppence a go And a flavour I'm sure you can guess...
(Botherer) I've never pronounced it any other than the "rude" way which suits English speech better and gives us "uranium". Equally, we have "Venusian" when any fule kno it should be "Venereal". Poxy little planet, anyway.