Well, a Swan-Upper's Vest is the right thing to swan around in and afterwards you could nip down the PUB.

Why mention the Polyester Umbrella Boutique? I shall go mad I tell you, MAD! (Maniacal cackle continues under next three moves)

You are obviously a single person. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, for which Mums and Dads should pilloried. I put the blame for this attitude squarely and bluntly on the PCA. Hrrmph!

Well I should watch out if I were you, the Parental Control Association seems to have lost its grip in many cases. I blame the NUT.

Are you sure you want to blame the Nightingale Unification Trust? That seems completely absurd! If there are any birds involved, it's probably an AUK.

Not another ugly kestrel! Their hunting habits make me want to call out OMG!

Quite so Giertrud - it's a month since the last move, therefore I shall have One More Go before playing the winning move, Mornington Crescent.