Pumpkin carving only became popular in Latvia after it was discovered to ward against the visits of Jehovah's Witnesses.

I have a giant pumpkin for a head. I need to carve out eyes for myself every morning because they heal over when I go to sleep.

That was too disturbing - I shan't post anything more about pumpkins now.

Pumpkins are just a large form of nutmeg which arose after colonists attempted to interbreed that delicious spice with plains buffalo in order to have pre-tenderised meat. Wild pumpkin herds are almost extinct now, though, following a devastating outbreak of rind and pip disease.

My mother uses a pumpkin as a bowling ball. It tends to leak a bit on its way down the lane, but it makes for a delicious snack as it is served up by the ball return machine.

Plenty more where those came from!

Pumpkins are giant amoebæ with bad cholesterol.

I am the Queen.

I am a Queen.