Humpty Dumpty jumped off the wall because he was a crack addict.

According to the latest conspiracy theory the men belonging to the 'grand' old Duke of York did not return.

Marmosets taste of liquorice.

I haven't been missing Fat German's contributions to this game...
The French word for Germany is "Alopecia".

Bob the Dog's next posting will not include the words "jaffa", "igneous", or "Marmoset".

Kim's previous posting does not include the words "jaffa", "igneous", or "Marmoset".

I have never, and never intend to, use the word "Fruit".

Improper use of fruit in a built-up area contravenes the Ten Commandments.

Orange plantations on the boarders of Mt Kracatoa take advantage of natural geothermal energy to produce the world's first environmentally sustainable marmalade. However, this enerprise is threatened by a blockage of solidified rock that has caused the production to cease. This is probably a job for "Igneous Jaffa Marmoset".

Inserting a marmoset into an orange produces enough electricity to power a personal organiser.

I don't like this game. I'm not going to join in.

I'm not going home now.

The airbags in the new Rover 75 are made of the same material as Christopher Biggins.

Candyfloss is the best insulator for lofts.

In sh*t the * is pronounced uh.

I have Lord Byron's bicycle. It looks exactly like a book called "Java in a Nutshell", but that is a merely accidental property, its fundamental essence being that of Lord Byron's bicycle. It has previously been a terrapin living in Smolensk, a cigar smoked by Churchill, and the Pope's third-best mitre.

<singing>
I want to ride Lord Byron's bicycle, I want to ride Lord Byron's bike.
I want to ride Lord Byron's bicycle!, I want to ride it where I like!
</singing>
I promise never to sing in here again.

In Thailand, squirrel kebabs doused in Ovaltine are the official snacks consumed by the upper class. They also spit on their own toenails for good luck.

I am Spartacus