Somewhere in the sprawling metropolis - in his secret laboratory - an evil wrongdoer is hatching a dark plot to become the queen and rule the world. Could this be another job for “Security Hamster”?

Yes.

Donald Rumsfeld has trained 30,000 security hamsters in the last three months.

By a remarkable co-incidence, 30,000 is also the my annual take-home pay.

30,000 is my annual take-home pay too. I am paid in groats.

I am paid in quarks, which makes me a multi-multi-trillionaire.

30,000 groats is worth about 50p in stirling, or 534,678 in Euros.