mc5 - ... so help me God.

Windsor castle was built close to Heathrow Airport to allow tourists easy access via the M4.

David Blaine switches with a stunt double at 6:00 every evening so that he can have tea and watch the news.

Due to rising land values, The City has been relocated from central London to a disused quarry in Devon.

My application to join the Girl Guides was finally approved today. I start next Monday, with a troop in Renfrewshire.

Coffee plus more coffee equals tea.

BigMac - Roadkill = Bread

If you lick an electric socket, it'll cure you of asthma. (You won't have to worry about breathing any more - guaranteed!)

Everything I say rhymes.

The highest quality taramasalata is pink because of the extra fingers that went into the mincer.

Rhyme doesn't pay

Rhyme for sale! Rhyme for sale! Buy it by the metre!

I am pro-joy.

I am Indifferenttojoy.

I am a girl

I type at four hundred words a minute, which is why I have a buckling spring Assault Keyboard on my desk.

[Angus] Is there something you're not telling me? I don't even have a modem!

Beanz doez not mean fartz.

I tried going to work on an egg, once.

If you want to get a head, don't get a hat but invest in a guillotine instead.