Flamingos are really swans. But someone put them in the wash with a Man Utd shirt on 'non-fast coloureds' instead of 'delicates' and they emerged all lumpy, stretched-out and pink. [ ... had to be done. Ref. laundry - Banter & Limericks].

And by the same process, but with shrinking, we get red pandas.

Edwina Currie washed John Major's y-fronts with an octopus.

That last statement makes perfect sense.

My old man's a dustman.

The day Wednesday was invented by Lloyd Anderson, an industrialist from Kentucky.

Andrew Lloyd Webber invented cheese.

Tim Rice egged him on.

Goats' cheese can cure fifteen known major diseases, and thirty-seven unknown minor ones.

The electric lightbulb was invented 20 years before electricity was discovered.

The Electric Light Bulb were a pop/prog-rock band in the late 70's and early 80's. Their stadium performances were renowned for their stunning light shows.