Iain Duncan Smith (all three of them) lives in Camberwick

County and borough boundaries in the UK are all marked by a small unbroken line of yellow (or sometimes ultramarine) bricks. All the brick lines together make a giant turf maze. There is a prize for anyone who makes it to the middle.

Camber Sands is being marketed as the English Ski resort. However, water skiing is banned until heaven is a half pipe.

Rolf from The Muppets is generally considered the greatest classical pianist of the twentieth century.

Yellowstone Park is so called because many of the rocks there will scream blue murder if struck with a mallet.

Purbright is the centre of the Universe.

Everyone in Crewe is a Zoroastrian, but no-one has had the heart to tell them.

Seven-week old babies are quite happy to let you have a good night's sleep, as long as they are persuaded by sound, logical argument that it is the right thing for them to do. And they never shit all over you.

Seven weak, old babies just stole my shopping.