I failed to snort painfully with laughter at Boolbar's miltary fib.

"Knees Up Mother Brown" is considered gynaecologically impossible.

^I _am s^uff_erⁱng fr_om ⁱrr_it^abl_e v^ow_el syndr^om_e.

The letter 'e' is considered obscene by the Mormons.

The second 'm' in 'Mormon' is silent.

All the letters in "pants" are silent.

There I was walking to Baghdad when this flatfish jumped on me from behind, pinned me to the ground and threatened to smash my face in. I was stuck between Iraq and a hard plaice.

I deliberately used bold there.

A bird in the hand is worth approximately £4.76, allowing for inflation and seasonal adjustment.

A bird in the hand is never a problem for Catholic priests.