Some radical peanuts, marginalised even among the dry snacks community, have formed "Nuts To You!" a dadaist organisation dedicated to making random piles of peanuts in unexpected contexts. In the latest "happening" three tons of peanuts, both dry roasted and uncooked, assembled in the Virgin Megastore on Times Square. Breakaway cashews attempted to form a rival pyramid on Broadway, but could only command three pounds of their number.

And in related news, there has been a small wok riot in a Chinese Supermarket in Leamington.

Sewage farms are just a myth. They are really a front for the Women's Institute.

... which rather makes you wonder about what's in the jam.

Projoy, you are truly awful. Now I know how you won the Turner Prize.

The General Post Office has largely fallen into obscurity these days, mainly because people don't need Generals posting through the mail any more. However some small businesses are able to fulfil the remaining niche market, such as postmeageneral.com

Circles are only circular on Tuesdays.

Squares have always wanted to be circular, but they've never got round to it.

Triangles have no wish to be square, but they do have guardian angles.

Lines cannot become triangles because they have no three will.

Spheres taste of strawberry, but circles are just plane.

I was going to launch into a discussion of mapping of steeplechase course in non-directed graphs, but then changed my mind when I realised that I don't even understand simple coordinate systems - I didn't want to put Descartes before the horse.

The Spanish government has decided to expel all members of ETA. By making them all leave via a single checkpoint it has effectively put all its Basques in one exit. (Points at Dunx: "Well, he started it!!")