Bumble bees exist in a state of quantum flux, so that they never exist in one place with more than a 50% probability.

The part of a bumble bee which is not in the place where the bee is observed is called the bumble be-not.

Kiwi fruit are rather misleadingly named, since they in fact ripen into wallabies.

Nothing is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Lemons are made out of melons.

My stairs are made out of apples and pears.

Camberwell is radioactive again this afternoon.

There is no such thing as this-ness.

There's no this-ness like show-this-ness!

Loch Ness is the state of being like a Loch.

I regularly experience feelings of Lochness.

[Dunx] The latest theories in quantum apiology demonstrate that bumble bees cannot exist in a solitary state - they are always in a diapis form, known as the 2bee. On observing the diapis, the waveform collapses into either a present bee or the not present bee, in other words 2bee or not2bee.

Ibid is an unacknowledged genius. And Icelandic.

[Ibid] Ah - that explains a lot.

My parents were professional drinks coasters.

[Projoy] What a coincidence - my parents used to surf in a pint of Guinness left at the back table of the snug of the Kings Toenail pub in Wigan.

Spoons call lying snugly together "peopling"

Rambert Dance Company is a hotbed of satanism.

There are no suspicious practicioners of satanic square dancing across the road fom me. I am not scared.

As well as writing a Left-Hand Concerto for Paul Wittgenstein, who lost his arm in the war, Maurice Ravel wrote a No-Hands Concerto in G, in which the unfortunate amputee soloist prevails upon a fellow pianist to pick out the notes on his behalf.

[Pace BTG and Projoy] I often experience feelings of Lochnesslessness.