mc5 - ... so help me God.

In case of infirmity in old age, I am going to buy a stair-lift to heaven, in case my staircase should prove too arduous a climb.

I have a USB cat.

I catch the Universal Serial Bus to work every morning.

The Universal Cereal Bus stops by every morning. I usually get a bowl of pure bran fiber with marshmallows.

I have a parallel port next to Portsmouth.

I cut down a tree by mistake last week. We're saving the Error Log to burn at Christmas.

"My error log is SoBig...."

The coat of arms for Bromsgrove is a guinea pig rampant and bears the Latin motto Demum, veniunt porci.

This is all true.

Bruce Forsyth actually detests the sight of other people, the sight of other people detests.

Thanks to USB compatibility I can now speak Swahili.