It is illegal to say "slat" north of Inverness

I once went out with a slat, she was a bit of a goer.

Goer is a village in Derbyshire noted for it's slats.

[BtD] It's near the Hamlet of Mathy Caw, I believe.

Yesterday I met a lady who assured me that all that glittered was Gold. She made some interesting purchases too.

glistered not glittered

The custom dictionary is always right.

Roget wrote his thesaurus after losing a bar bet about how many synonyms there are for "harlot".

Roget's real name was actually Roger - but 'Rogers The Saurus' was deemed to be an unsuitable title for such a worthy tome as he might become the victim of crass innuendo.

I have recently pitied the fool that tried to get me onto an aeroplane.

In case of infirmity in old age, I am going to buy a stair-lift to heaven, in case my staircase should prove too arduous a climb.