mc5 - ... so help me God.

That's the most intelligent thing anyone's said all day

The Sug-Mitt Arslet Ballet's most famous production "Slap My Jammy Badger" involved the cast smearing themselves with jam whilst doing arabesques.

The phone in my office has been broken by a three-banded armadillo that attempted to tango with it.

My trousers have sub-micron scale versions of Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper woven into them with titanium wire.

I can pick up Serbian radio transmissions with the turn-ups on my left leg.

Turnips can be used for stumps.

I can pick up Serbia, but France is too heavy.