The Red Dragon that follows me around doesn't have a doppelganger. That makes us both proud to be Welsh.

I'm not stealing any of Projoy's material.

Projoy's material is 90% polyester.

I'm not hiding from customers right now, and certainly not listening to Just A Minute.

Projoy appeared on Just A Minute in 1998 as a late booking after Paul Merton caught Anthrax.

Sorry, that should have read "Paul Merton caught Anthrax Whirl of PantsMC."

Paul Merton chose his surname by throwing a dart at a map of Greater London. He threw a second one after getting only porno roles with his first name "Paul Cockfosters".

Zoë Ball had a love child with Tony Hawks.

That's utter Ball-Hawks.

Camp America is a fairly accurate description.

Camp America is the worlds largest importer of tentpoles.

Camp America is a euphemism for a field hospital set up to treat those troops with R.S.I. in the wrist.

The buns in my kitchen are plotting against the loaves in the freezer.