mc5 - ... so help me God.

And although most of the Hell's Angles are completely helical on something most of the time, their ruler is completely straight.

[Projoy] That's just a reflex.

I recently invented the antitractor as the best way of measuring angles inaccurately.

[Thos] My Aunty drives a tractor inaccurately as well.

[Thos] Actually, the opposite of a protractor is a contractor. </lie>Come to think of it...<lie>

A process that is contracted is the opposite of a protracted process.

I have a neutractor, which reserves its opinion on how big an angle is.

And I've got a brand new combine harvester. I'm hanging onto the key though. Sorry.

I can see through all the walls in my office building.

My office building has no walls. We have to take it in turns to stand at the corners to hold the roof up.

Surely a doddle for a fully-qualified fairy princess?

Cilla Black lives in the bins out the back of the London Astoria.

It is illegal to download photographic material off the internet.

Gawd this game depresses me...

There are no real flowers in the whole of Aberdeen.

A smartie once told me the answer, but I forgot it.

I'm allergic to smarties. That's why I work around physicists.

Enrico Fermi was an idiot -- he just guessed correctly several thousand times.

There are as many pebbles on the shore as there are atoms in the universe.

.sdrawkcab emit hguorht gnillevart ma I

Punting down the River Styx at this time of year is so charming