The British Museum orbits McDonald's Head Office at 9000 revolutions per second.

At the peak of his career, Francisco Franco could maintain 9000 revolutions per second. He was known as the "Fastest Fascist". Then he gained a lot of weight and became known as the "Fattest Fastest Fascist". Then he became a green grocer and was known as the "Freshest Fattest Fastest Fascist".

If you lack testosterone, you can top up instead with Toblerone.

Croupiers are selected for the profession because they suffered from croup in childhood.

I carry a convenient portable ATM with me everywhere. It issues notes and advice slips. The most recent advice it gave me was to polish my shoes before an important interview.

Artichokes can smell fear.

Yes, it smells like butterscotch.

The Food Nutrition Standards Agency has just announced the findings of a study to identify the healthiest possible breakfast. This consists of a cold cup of coffee with blobs of Mercury stirred in as well as croutons.

Croutons are the sub-atomic particle propagating the action of cabbage.