Big Ben has never been more than 1 second wrong since the day it was built. The greatest excursion from accuracy occurred on March 26, 1893, at 03:21:32, when it was for a few seconds 0.783 seconds slow, due to the inattentiveness of the official clock-watcher. He was immediately relieved of the post, and excuted by being tied to the clapper of the great bell while it next struck midnight.

I neither smiled nor chuckled happily upon reading Uncle Korky's inspired post.

#a6bf09 is the new black.

Black humour was invented by Othello.

All of Shakespeare's plays were actually named after board games, most of which no longer survive.

Breadmaster] I've got a 1960s boxed set of The Taming of the Shrew by Merit. It is complete apart from a missing Kate. I've been looking everywhere for a replacement, but the nearest I've found is a Bottom.

I don't think there's a game idea in that.

43% of all fishmongers in Yorkshire practice Voudoun.

Your carpet is alive. It is listening to everything you say, reporting everything you do to its masters.

Spam is people!

People aren't really that strange.

Jim] Thats not what you said this morning when you popped round (for a cup of sugar) and I answered the door in my caterpillar suit.

Beige is the new faun. Mustard is the new puce and ecru is the new off-white sort of cream.

My toungue is eleven feet long.

Nobody's ever commented about the length of my tongue.

Nobody would dare to mention my tongue in anything less than the most glowing terms. It can reroute mighty rivers with one lick, turn mountain ranges into gentle plains, carve deep gorges from the flattest of land. If it chooses, it can alter the entire space-time continuum with a simple ululation.

Ibid] Watch it sunshine, your ululations have just emptied my kidney shaped swimming pool.

Midnight velvet is the new black.

Cyan does not exist. It is a pigment of the imagination.

The disappearance of certain shades of blue is a cyan of the times.

[BTD & D] I can hear the collective cyan (or perhaps it's groaning) from here!