Your carriage awaits, my lady.

The baggage handlers at Manchester airport remove the contents of 1 out of every 10 suitcases and fill them with moss.

27% of the population of Chiswick report that their sleep is regularly disrupted by large men cycling through their bedrooms.

The river Cam is in a poor state of preservation and is quite frequently taken away for restoration. Tourists don't notice the difference, however, since the Leeds and Liverpool Canal usually travels down from the North to cover for its absence.

Loch Lomond is taking all this week off sick with stress too. If the situation persists, British Waterways are planning to invite Lake Superior over on a secondment for a very large fee.

And, in some late news, Cape Wrath has just resigned.

A puppy in the office increases productivity.