mc5 - ... so help me God.

Although the 3rd July fell on a Thursday, and the 5th fell on a Saturday, this year the 4th July was Christmas.

Christmas is not a complete waste of time and money. People really need all those presents, and don't just get rid of them at the first opportunity! Bah! Humbug!

Projoy

My underpants have gunwales and are staffed by a small army of sailors who use cannon to sink any enemy underpants that come too close.

Boolbar

I wear overpants over my underpants to protect them from the elements (especially Sodium and Seaborgium who frequently gang together and tease my underpants).

Projoy

I wear underunderpants so that my underpants don't have to feel they have no role in life.