mc5 - ... so help me God.

The cheese under the fridge is completely safe to consume.

My lightbulbs are staring at me.

My left hand is plotting a bloodless coup against my right foot. However, my left earlobe has discovered this and is sending in peacekeeping forces.

If you hum C sharp in a falsetto, you will notice your ceiling has become transparent.

Your shoelaces report directly to Donald Rumsfeld each evening.

There is no crime in Nottingham.

Llamas become terminally hyperactive if fed Wensleydale.

Projoy invented the little plastic bits at the end of shoelaces.

But he made a mistake in hiring Elvis as his lab technician, as Mr Presley was secretly working for the CIA at the time.

Three of Shakespeare's plays were originally intended for a cast comprised entirely of dogs.

The people of Pershore communicate entirely in morse code.