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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Ibid
It is vital to tiptoe through the tulips, as if they wake up they can take your leg off at the knee.
Ibid
Hammerhead sharks have to clean their teeth regularly, due to the large quantities of salted peanuts they eat.
Ibid
Sir John Gielgud can be seen performing show tunes on the concourse of Kyoto railway station.
Ibid
Coffee isn't really from a plant. No-one would drink it if they knew how they
really
made it.
Ibid
Yak droppings expand to 1000 times their original size on exposure to orange juice.
pook
Ibid works in the same coffee factory as me. He is responsible for looking after the Yaks.
DrQu+xum
[pook] That's gnus to me!
DrQu+xum
Everyone appreciates a gnu pun.
Dunx
... even if they've herd it before.
pook
Another
bovine
pun right here!
Boolbar
What a fun day at work I've had today. Can't wait until tomorrow!
snorgle
[pook] I've got no beef with that!
Dunx
[snorgle] Pull the udder one.
Dunx
Juniper bushes are the intersection with our reality of higher dimensional beings known throughout the multiverse for their perspicacity and profound wisdom.
snorgle
They also like custard. Lots and lots of custard. But not blancmange. Blancmange is widely acknowledged to be evil.
DrQu+xum
[snorgle] That's why you feed it to ants.
Projoy
A glass of milk has been appointed the new Secretary of State for Commonwealth Affairs.
Projoy (the following day)
Regrettably, the new Secretary of State for Commonwealth Affairs has been forced to resign after being found drunk in its office.
Dunx
[Projoy] Well, that saved a few sour remarks.
Dunx
I can't lie.
Dunx
It tastes better than it smells.
plump
That is certainly true of my dog which has got no nose.
Projoy
Next year's Eurovision Song Contest will be hosted in Anchorage.
DrQu+xum
[Projoy] I'll be there. [plump] How does he see?
Projoy
Samba music causes incontinence.
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