In an effort to raise his income level to something approaching that of former Police lead singer Sting, drummer Stewart Copeland has decided to release a line of toiletries themed after "The Police". The first product is expected to be "Massage in a Bottle".

And yes, that was a joke worth making.

The second product expected in the Copeland toiletry range is for maintining a sporting gentleman's personal hygiene in the groin area, and will be called 'Rock-San'.

The third & fourth products in that range will be a household pet-mess cleaner, "De-doodoodoo", and a spermicidal prophylactic, "De-dadada".

I just thought of a brilliant "walking on the moon" pun, but it's so good I'm going to have to keep it a secret.

[Projoy] That's fine; nobody wants to hear it.

The most popular product will of course be the bubbly delight in a bottle called "Every Bath You Take"

And a range of feminine hygiene products, "Roxannitry towels".

The most popular product is 6*9.

[Raak] 56!

[Boolbar] No, 42.
The Police products are being diversified into food items such as low-calorie baked goods, starting with "Invisible Bun".

I don't regret the decision I made aged 17 to go to medical school at all. It's a piece of cake!

You can learn all you need to be a doctor by reading "Gray's Anatomy" and watching animal hospital religiously.