Puce is the colour of sin.

In an effort to raise his income level to something approaching that of former Police lead singer Sting, drummer Stewart Copeland has decided to release a line of toiletries themed after "The Police". The first product is expected to be "Massage in a Bottle".

And yes, that was a joke worth making.

The second product expected in the Copeland toiletry range is for maintining a sporting gentleman's personal hygiene in the groin area, and will be called 'Rock-San'.

The third & fourth products in that range will be a household pet-mess cleaner, "De-doodoodoo", and a spermicidal prophylactic, "De-dadada".

I just thought of a brilliant "walking on the moon" pun, but it's so good I'm going to have to keep it a secret.

[Projoy] That's fine; nobody wants to hear it.

The most popular product will of course be the bubbly delight in a bottle called "Every Bath You Take"

And a range of feminine hygiene products, "Roxannitry towels".

The most popular product is 6*9.

[Raak] 56!

[Boolbar] No, 42.
The Police products are being diversified into food items such as low-calorie baked goods, starting with "Invisible Bun".

I don't regret the decision I made aged 17 to go to medical school at all. It's a piece of cake!

You can learn all you need to be a doctor by reading "Gray's Anatomy" and watching animal hospital religiously.

"Gray's Anatomy" is to be superseded by the "Hayne's Book of the Body" which, like the famous motor mechanic's manuals, is based on a complete strip down and disassembly.

The director of Jane’s Military Vehicles, Aerospace and Logistics Communications has gone into a partnership with her brother. Consequently, the business is to be retitled and will now be known as Peter and Jane’s Military Vehicles, Aerospace and Logistics Communications.

There's a worm at the bottom of my garden, and his name is wiggly woo.

There's a divinity that shapes our ends rough - hew them how we may.

You're never alone when you Do the Strand.