Lies can sometimes masquerade as advice.

Dunx is masquerading as the Queen.

Primping is an Olympic sport.

So is lying

Henry Kissinger won the 100m shoelace-knitting event at the last Commonwealth Games.

My knees are serrated.

At a Who concert in Seattle, sixteen fans were rendered unconscious by the increased level of Hydrogen Sulphide in the atmosphere caused by excessive farting.

That's nothing. The last time the Stones played in Pittsburgh, not only did it smell like a factory that produces both tyres and tuna, but Keith Richards started leaking formaldehyde during "Gimme Shelter".

My eels are full of hovercraft, which they are disappointed about now that they realise that cross-channel ferry is also on the menu and they hadn't noticed.