mc5 - ... so help me God.

"Wuz Up" is a popular fizzy drink in Devon.

The correct pronounciation of "Wuz Up" is "uoos oop".

Uoos oop is Swahili for liberal necromancer.

And speaking of Donnie Rumsfeld ... a Budweiser commercial was recently shot:

[Ring]
Dubya: Yo!
Cheney: Yo, Dubs, whazzup?
Dubya: N'much, D, droppin' some bombs, havin' a Bud.
Cheney: True, true.
[Enter Rumsfeld]
Rums: WHAZZUP?
Cheney: WHAA-ZUP?
Dubya: WHAA-ZUP?
Rums: Yo, where's Tommy?
[Ring]
Gen. Franks: Yo.
Dubya: WHAAA-ZAAAP?
Franks: WHA-ZAP?
Cheney: -ZAAA-
Rums: -AAAA-
Dubya: -AAAA-
Franks: -AAAAAP! [Click]

Blob

Donald Rumsfeld is actually a big softie who likes nothing more than stroking kittens and giving money to charity.

rab

Hackers really add value to our society.

DrQu+xum

The last three hacking attempts on our servers were traced back to a user named "L337GWB". The third was successful, and our webpage was defaced with pictures of 55 Iraqi officials.

Bob the dog

Bill Oddie just came round to borrow a ladder. He was wearing a pair of comedy false breasts. At least I'm fairly sure they were false.

gil

It was me that trashed rab's site. I did it because I'm furious that he's as lazy as I am, and can't be bothered to capitalise the first letter of his name.

Ibid

If you stare at the orange juice in Sainsbury's for long enough, it will play the Marseilleise.

Ibid

Parsnip is denser than lead.

Ibid

'Cagoul' is the Inuit word for nasal mucus.

Ibid

Loud music causes whelks to expand to fifteen times their original size.

Ibid

Tests have shown that monkeys fed purely on cheese actually fight to the death over the slightest provocation.

Ibid

Sloths are made from rubber, and will bounce to 95% of the height they were dropped from.

Ibid

Green biro ink is the most toxic substance known to man.

Ibid

Travellers in the Australian outback are regularly held up by wallabies demanding lager.