"Tuj" is actually aboriginal for "thanks for sharing".

By rubbing in a tablespoon of lemon juice, a tablespoon of malt vinegar and a tablespoon of single malt whiskey to a stain on white or pale fabric, one can easily add three new types of stain to one's laundry!

My friend Scott is not the living embodiment of Doctor Who.

Tomato ketchup has nipples, it turns out.

John Wayne is alive, well and living in Will Smith's guest annexe.

i often lick stamps when I have nothing to mail

i operate my own trampoline, with all the appropriate permits

The ladies tell me I'm really good in bed- lastnight I slept for almost an hour without falling out of it.....

pelgis...how'd you get so wise?

Today I've been enjoying abnormally frequent intestinal evacuations with fluid stools, my doctor told me it was diarrhoea, and has a tendanancy to run in our family.

[Pelgis] I have a mathematical problem that helps cure constipation. The best way to solve it is to work it out with a pencil.

I am not, in fact here. I am in reality, over there.

neither am I going to Canada next year.

A young lady in down-town Macclesfield repeatedly makes the same observation about the inclemency of the weather. Looks like this is another case for SARCASTIC RABBIT!

Sarcasm is the highest form of wit

SARCASTIC RABBIT must now feature in every fifth move after this one, or Putney Bridge tube station will be demolished.