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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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I eat dinner plates.
It was revealed in last night's Evening Post that 'First Avon and Somerset' is an anagram of 'We want to hurt every resident in the Bath area personally'.
You can achieve cold fusion in your own bathroom with only a mandolin and some grapes.
Lastnight I drank a lava-lamp
This is also an experiment
Elvis is alive and teaching paragliding to hippopotomi.
There is one, and only one, explanation as to why Elvis can move so quickly whilst dragging a parachute: Baked beans.
And prune juice.
this is also an experiment
but hasn't quit been sucessful
The concept of the 'Geostationary orbit' was concieved by Floella Benjeman and Hamble, and falsly claimed by Arthur C Clarke. However it was Arthur C's idea to use different shaped magic windows in Playschool.
I have a patent on patents. I expect the licence fees to be rolling in any time now.
It's far too cold to snow. (Botherer) Re your Feb 16th post - my Dad, who was called Gwilym, obviously never went near the place. :-)
These days my favourite form of exercise is 'jumping to conclusions'
I recently fell in love. Love has the texture and colouring of watery Turkish delight. It took me ages to get my clothes clean and even now I'm followed everywhere by an army of tom cats with amorous expressions.
I'm certainly not listening to Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 mixed with Röyksopp's Eple and enjoying the hell out of it. Or bopping my head along with it in the library. Or getting funny looks.
Used hand handgrenades are a very rare commodity, therefore their prices are extortionatly inflated. Beware of people selling new ones and claiming that they are used- they may infact be lying.
The capital of Paris is France.
I am, in fact, dead, and posting from lewisham cemetery, se14.
Fact- I left home this morning, not realising that I had infact left my car keys behind. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at work and realised this, and wondered how I had infact got there successfully...........
I am not at all pleased that planning for the Rugby Pilg 2 seems to be gathering momentum with a good crowd of participants. I'm dreading the whole thing.
likewise, I'm delighted that work won't let me have that weekend off because I've used all my holiday time travelling to Kenya and back.
lastnight i shrank by approximately 16% - I have no logical account for this.
its usually only 14%
i have recenly discovered that my girlfriend is a thespian
by an unusual coincidence, my thespian is in fact my girlfriend.
In Shakespearean times it was in fact perfectly OK for women to appear on stage, contrary to popular opinion. But you know what actors are like, any excuse for some transvestitism. The Bard himself was known as "Big Wilhelmina" at the weekends.
i still can't belive it's not butter!
when they change everything around at work, it makes for a hilarious shift. [/lie]I should stop using this game to complain about my job, I suppose. this'll be the last one.[lie]
I'm delighted I've been so busy for the last two weeks I've hardly had a chance to look at The Morniverse.
I'm sure nights was really confident with those [lie] tags.
certainaly was.
Hey up peeps, hows it going?
This is a real-time chat room.
it's also a coffee table.
and occasionally doubles as an altruistic campanologist from Boston, Lincs.
I don't waste my time playing silly games.
I just did a dry run with my new washing machine
Caffeine is a gateway drug that invariably leads to crack-cocaine addiction.
Which, in turn, leads to Slough, via the M40.
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