McDonalds have been forced to drop McLapin aux Headlights from their menu in the United States owing to the recent outbreak of "Peeved Weasle" disease. It was at first thought that the domestic groundhog could be substituted, but Burger King sued as groundhog is apparently the secret ingredient in the Burger King Croissandhog™. Rather than get into a protracted fight over the rights to free-range rodents, McDonalds Corp. decided to concentrate on their new range of healthy pan-fried iguana dishes.

I maintain at all times a calm, confident, cheerful state of mind.

the reason I moved to Bath from the West Midlands is highly secret and not to be divulged under any circumstances (tax reasons). bother.

All pocket lint in all pockets world wide is one multifasceted yet single concioused superentity.

"Ferrule" can spelt in fourteen different ways, many of them utilising just the first six letters of the Cyrillic alphabet.

The first crayons will not be produced for another seventy four years, they will by the first invention after the time machine and subsequently the firts trial.

russian is basically the same language as english. the main differences are 1) it is spoken more angrily, 2) all nouns have -ski, -ova or -nost on the end, and 3) all verbs wear little furry shapkas.
incidentally, [/lie], the russian word 'shapka', meaning furry hat, looks just like the word 'wanka' when written in cyrillic! how we laughed...[lie]