I just spent a couple of minutes simply standing outside the door of my workshop. The sky was blue with a few fluffy white clouds floating around. The birds, whilst jumping around in the trees, were relatively quiet and the traffic noise was almost non-existent. A zephyr was playing touch with the leaves of the trees and the temperature about 24°C. In the distance I could hear the sound of someone mowing their lawn. I hate this time of year.

McDonalds have been forced to drop McLapin aux Headlights from their menu in the United States owing to the recent outbreak of "Peeved Weasle" disease. It was at first thought that the domestic groundhog could be substituted, but Burger King sued as groundhog is apparently the secret ingredient in the Burger King Croissandhog™. Rather than get into a protracted fight over the rights to free-range rodents, McDonalds Corp. decided to concentrate on their new range of healthy pan-fried iguana dishes.

I maintain at all times a calm, confident, cheerful state of mind.

the reason I moved to Bath from the West Midlands is highly secret and not to be divulged under any circumstances (tax reasons). bother.

All pocket lint in all pockets world wide is one multifasceted yet single concioused superentity.

"Ferrule" can spelt in fourteen different ways, many of them utilising just the first six letters of the Cyrillic alphabet.

The first crayons will not be produced for another seventy four years, they will by the first invention after the time machine and subsequently the firts trial.

russian is basically the same language as english. the main differences are 1) it is spoken more angrily, 2) all nouns have -ski, -ova or -nost on the end, and 3) all verbs wear little furry shapkas.
incidentally, [/lie], the russian word 'shapka', meaning furry hat, looks just like the word 'wanka' when written in cyrillic! how we laughed...[lie]

Please note..............Penrith is not a Welsh town!!

[widey] Sad, but true. And I should know, I am Welsh. And proud of it.

Aren't we all?

I certainly am.

Henry Winkler only agreed to appear as the Fonz in Happy Days because it was written by Samuel Beckett.

Since I cannot tell a lie, I must confess, I am incapable of telling the truth.

That's the first time I've seen that paradox.

All entries in this game are entirely original. < lie> Mine certainly are < /lie>.

You can keep the sun off with a good paradox. This is particularly useful in London at the moment, where the sweltering temperatures have caused me to leap enthusiastically out of bed every morning with a sense that life is there to be enjoyed.

the days are just flying by until I make the trip up the M4 to home.

The M4 will be closed from midnight tonight until New Year's Day.