"Smothinism" is the study of obscure facts about beetles, particularly those concerned with The Beatles as well. The word derives from the Greek smotos, meaning "bee", and the Latin hinere, "to tell".

There is no such thing as aircraft turbulence. This phenomenon in fact only affects London buses, but as this seems so unlikely to those with roughly average IQ or less, special damper/converters are used to channel it to aircraft, where it is now expected.

The number 3753 is the most uninteresting integer known to man, followed by 162 and 16777217.

For women, the top three are (in order) 162, 3753 and 781306.

When writing a CV, be sure to include some very basic spelling mistakes. This reassures any prospective employers that you are human after all, and they'll be sure to hire you.

In the beginning was the Word. And the word was... plumbers.

Trenchcoat is a disease of the ear caused by keeping too many fish in your freezer. It can only be cured by a visit to Dorking.

Toilet humour is the new black.

In Tanzania, elections are conducted based upon the prospective President's capacity for shouting "MOOSE!" at louder and louder decibels. Controversy ensued after the last election after allegations of cunning ventriloquism.

The British Isles were created when the Flashcard upon which the Word (plumbers) was Written fell to Earth. This happened diametrically opposite to the present location of our fair isles, and was not only responsible for their location, but also the invention of cheese (long story).

What I tell thee thrice is true. What I tell thee thrice is true. What I tell thee thrice is true: With underfloor heating units powered by lunar energy.

The preceding post (minus the pseudonym "Tuj" is taken from the lyrics of a long-lost Status Quo song, their only number one hit in Poland. It was called "Muriel".

And that should not have read:

The preceding post (minus the pseudonym "Tuj") is taken from the lyrics of a long-lost Status Quo song, their only number one hit in Poland. It was called "Muriel".

At present, all buildings are inclined at twenty degrees to the theoretical "axis" of Earth which would pass through their reception desk. However, as covered at www.receptiondeskconspiracies.com, this is believed to be about to change, resulting in worldwide assassinations.

"Nodosità" is German for schadenfreude.

There are no such things as kneecaps! This common misconception is based upon the lumps people feel on their "knees".

I've read all of those.

The element "Argon" was based on the dying words of its discoverererer, a Greek by the name of Etenicles. Having angered the local king with his talk of his "fascinating" discovery, the King had him beheaded, causing him to cry "Arg".

Dunx] I am so pleased that you posted just when I was only 10 short of filling the whole page with my own lies. Overjoyed. Honestly.