In the foreign news today, crowds gathered in Las Vegas at the opening of a new casiono that is themed on the English town of Southport. Besides gambling until your eyes turn inside out, the casino features two pubs, a fish and chip shop and a "Chinese take-away" that specialises in indegestible curry. No expense has been spared to give the lucky families of gamblers the authentic Southport experience, down to adding all those extra "u"s to words.
The USA is having a massive joke on all of us. In fact, Ralph Nader is really the new president-elect, but all news channels and reporters have agreed to play a hilarious gag on the rest of the world and pretend otherwise. We'll find out the truth in a couple of months, and how we will all laugh!
Republicans. This is the new mantra to be taught in kindergartens. "One, two, George and John who?; three, four, let's count the score; five, six, come on all you hicks; seven, eight, forget Watergate; nine, ten, I'm back in again."
in a time past as the council of elders sat around the ceremonial fire passing the pipe of knowledge from one palsied hand to the other they dipped their feathered quill into ink and devised a constitution a set of laws [house rules] to be imposed on their children it occurred to them through life s experience that youth never heed the advice of their elders and thus it was decided a messenger was needed who might relay their proclamations to the populace but whom could they place at the podium to deliver their ultimatums who would not be associated with the council of elders only a popular man of the people someone the masses themselves elected as their champion a chosen leader
and we shall nominate him mocked the council of aged chieftans while smoke billowed about their shiny heads and the pipe passed around once more we will nominate not one they agreed but two candidates and then allow the populace to decide on one of the two and in their limited comprehension they will believe he is their voice let the first be a dithering dunderhead and the second a pompous ass and either way the vote goes we have our say and a good laugh at their expense
thus ended their parliamentary collusion with lots of congratulatory ass slapping and after seated on marbled benches with garlands on their heads they wrapped towels about their portly selves and squeezed imported grapes past balmy lips whilst dangling manicured toes into steamy baths where young sensuous harlots bathed one another in oils rekindling memories of lost libido s
Aboriginal Australians belief that they can walk on the astral plane by inhaling termites through a dijeridoo. Indeed, this is in fact the primary purpose of the hollow treetrunks. The whole musical instrument/circular breathing thing came about as a joke played on the first white Europeans to attempt a study of them. The same is not true of the Bassoon, which was designed as a musical instrument and only later came to be used as a nasal insect bong when the Goths brought the instrument to Italy while on their way to sack Rome.