Chimpanzees are genetically predisposed to Catholicism, while Gorillas epouse Lutheran doctrine. Lemurs tend toward Satanism in its many forms, which explains why they were persecuted throughout the middle ages.

The EU quota for Cumulo-nimbus clouds has been exceeded for this year, as a result Ireland and Portugal will have their cloud cover reduced in November, until the price of tambourines recedes to an acceptible level. France can maintain there current level output due their incopatibility with other global weather systems.

If you slam a Mini-Metro door on a giraffe's genitalia, it's cry can be used to lure albinos from their hammocks.

When participating in presidential debates do not wear a brazier.

E-Mail spam is a thing of the past thanks to pro-active legislation by governments and international cross-discipline cooperation in the IT world.

i am cool

The Neolithic Era - which is popularly belived to have occured way back in times of yore - actually took place in 2000, upon the strength of the popularity of the first 'Matrix' film. A set of Commemorative Lithographs of Keanu Reeves were released and sold on numerous websites for a fortnight. Demand was so high that these items sky-rocketted in value within days, after shrewd collectors bought them upon mass, and for the next 18 months, the entirety of the World's Economy was in flux, and centred around Traders offering these memorabillia on eBay at the price of an average Third World country's debt.