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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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I bet that was grate!
I spent my gap year living in Whales. My favorite was the humpback.
Whales are made of slate and were nearly hunted to extinction during the 19th/20thC.Their bodies were cut into "slates" and used as roofing material.
The Welsh are famous for the manufacture of "slate". They dug huge quarries and pits to keep the whales in so as to make slate production much easier.....oops time for my medication................
Herman vonstankwurg invented the nodding donkey in 1843. He found by attaching a small pump to the muzzle of a donkey that he was able to pump up to 3 barrels of oil a day..........
Practice jactitation, it will improve your chances with the opposite sex.
Him who first coined the adage "i think, therefore i am" could not be reached for comment.
Yes, sorry, I was out when you called.
Bill Gates is the devil incarnate. (oops, sorry, this game is for outrageous lies, not for stating the blindingly obvious)
My real name is William Gates. (phew, that's better, normality has been restored)
Robert (Bob) Fenwick of Little Oulton invented Cor Blimey Trousers as an aid to ice skating in 1832. The trousers contain an inflation device made from a pigs bladder and a length of red rubber hose. If the unlucky skater should fall on the ice the trousers would inflate thus providing a soft cushion and saving the said skater form injury. They were often woven with brightly coloured stripes (aka clown pants).The name was derived from the often mutterd calls of onlookers seeing the trousers in operating mode!!
The only surviving pair of said cor blimey trousers belong to Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. He bought them from Jonathon Ross, who inherited them from Barbara Cartland.
Barbara Cartland was Bob Fenwick's housekeeper from 1829 to 1856, when she was sacked for stealing the family silver which she sold to to fuel her Opium habit.
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