"Mama, pass out dem biscuits ... i done brung home de fondue!"

As a master of disguise, I have enjoyed a long career in the movies. I began in 1964 as Dick van Dyke's bamboo stick in 'Mary Poppins'. I then went on to play other classic roles: John Voight's hat in 'Midnight Cowboy', Clint Eastwood's shoulder holster in all five 'Dirty Harry' movies, Chewbacca's ammunition belt in the first 'Star Wars' film, Indiana Jones' bullwhip in 'The Last Crusade', Bruce Willis' vest in the first two 'Die Hard' films and the iceberg in 'Titanic'. More recently I have played Aragorn's left boot in the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy.

It never rains in Glasgow.

No, it's just 100% vertical humidity.

Rain puddles are sentient, and should never be splashed but allowed to leave on their own accord.

Around the world in 80 days.........pah...........no big deal I can get around the block in less than 8 minutes............

I went around the world in a cheese, dazed.

I bet that was grate!

I spent my gap year living in Whales. My favorite was the humpback.

Whales are made of slate and were nearly hunted to extinction during the 19th/20thC.Their bodies were cut into "slates" and used as roofing material.

The Welsh are famous for the manufacture of "slate". They dug huge quarries and pits to keep the whales in so as to make slate production much easier.....oops time for my medication................

Herman vonstankwurg invented the nodding donkey in 1843. He found by attaching a small pump to the muzzle of a donkey that he was able to pump up to 3 barrels of oil a day..........

Practice jactitation, it will improve your chances with the opposite sex.