Fact.......If you leave baked beans, untouched, on a plate for several weeks they will, as if by magic, turn into peanuts!!

Fact....Research performed at the Loughborough Sleep Research Center have shown if you interrupt a dream at precisely the correct moment, the dream will become reality. [As a matter of record, two nights ago I pinched myself while dreaming and awakened to find I was in fact pinching myself.]

Fact - I once worked at Loughborough Sleep Research Centre, but I got the sack for staying awake on the job.

I may look like a normal woman to you, but I am made from muesli.

I used to be a postman, but I got the sack.

*runs and hides* Don't start that again!

I was a tiger tamer in the circus before they threw me to the lions.

[ZK] Luckily they haven't.

I am not in the least bit embarrassed to have "started that up again".

I never, ever get embarrassed. I don't embarrass easily.

I used to work for a mobile wood mill, but then they saw me off the premises.

That was not one of the most extreme reactions I have ever had to a pun.

Personalities clashed at my job in the strawberry packaging warehouse. I used to make a lot of jokes and insinuations, until I was called into the manager's office and told that I was no longer required to punnet.

I am still concerned to hear about Tony Blair and the Armadillo, was it the drink?..

I was a Grand Canyon tour guide until I was told to take a hike.

I worked in a talcum factory until I was told to take a powder.

I tested Bungie cords until I was let loose.

I am pissed off at Kim for having started this thread again.

I made fishing lures...then one day I got the hook.

I worked in the menswear department until they cut all ties with me.

I used to be a poet until my licence was revoked.