</lie> [ZK] Listen Again is your friend. It's certainly mine - I can't listen to R4 live at all. <lie>

Contrary to popular belief, dumb bells can be quite loquacious if talked to about the right subject.

*kisses Dunx*

Villards are evil ducks.

A stationary lobster is known as a thermostat.

I am certainly not crapping myself over my Russian exams.

By the time I came to my Russian exams, I cared very deeply about the outcome and got very stressed indeed.

"Russian exam" is a euphemism.

"swedish massage" is not a euphemism.

Magnets only work when they are being watched.

CERN has announced the discovery of a new subatomic particle which has been observed to interact minimally with other particles itself but which has been seen with great frequency to pass by two particles which then annihilate each other in a highly energetic manner. It has been dubbed the tarantino.

The most wonderful eel in the world is called Hernia, which explains why she is so shy.

this music is certainly not giving me headache.

"I'll have no frolicking in my pantry Guv'nor!!" was the catch-phrase used by Princess Michael of Kent in her first unrecorded sitcom provisionally entitled "Sperm Kittens go AWOL in Tewkesbury".

I was the fourth Goodie; you can see me hiding behind a giant black pudding during the episode "King Carrot".

"No more rubber please Vicar!!" was the catchphrase used by Alan Rickman in his cabaret act entitled "Murun Bertstanzinger goes pole vaulting".

The Teletubbies are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

<lie>Thanksgiving will be particularly entertaining this year now that most people in the US have come to realise that George W Bush is a turkey.</lie>

I am terribly offended by Bob the Dog's post.

Ironically, it has now been discovered that George W. Bush himself is a weapon of mass destruction.

When I was small, I used to stretch my mouth between the gateposts that led into our front garden and 'strum' my lips with a plecktrum in order to imitate the extraordinary musical tallent of Stephan Grappelli.