My ancestors were from Scotland, but spelled their names with a question mark at the end. This led to confusion, vast intermarriages, and, ultimately, extreme difficulty in genealogy searches.

At work, I have three stegasauruses hidden. I cannot make claim to the title of professional steganographer because to do so would blow my cover.

Scotish Bagpipes are a useful device for storing hot air!

The scotish tend to be full of hot air.

Bertie Vogts speaks with an impeccable Scottish accent.

As a subtle practical joker, I like to cover my local zebra crossing with a life size negative photograph of it, and count the years til anyone notices.

Thos] I did not find that at all funny.

I have an albino pet zebra called Ernie, He likes chips dribbled with lots of vinegar!

Seven Oaks is miss-named as there are now only 3 Oaks following the great Oak disaster of July 21st 1957...... An ill wind and a council worker with a chain saw......