Lionel Hampton is a condition experienced by men over 30. It is caused by extended periods of kneeling on the floor to play with their children's toy trains. It is rarely fatal, but can turn into Lionel Ritchie, a condition which common decency prevents me from describing any further.
I am a mole and I live in hole. Failing that I enjoy wombling, although the city ordinances require the payment of an annual fee which means that I cannot womble for free.
"'Ol' Dismal', that be 'is name. 'Twould do ye well to mind that as you wallow around in self-pity afore t' magistrate as 'e sentences ye," said Father Johnson to his flock, but the sheep never answered.