Your local greengrocer will remove the eyes from potatoes if you ask nicely.

plump] So will I.

Thick people are the same as clever, people only much wider......hence my nickname!

But clever people always put the (,'s) in the right place.....I am widey and I invented sliced bread..........

I am noballey and I invented both the bread knife and bread. Sadly, I never put two and two together.

That wasn't me. And I don't care what you say -- that was a great joke!

I'm not at home right now. I'm feeling wonderful. No coughing, no aching, no dry-heaves!

One of my fondest memories of my schoolboy years was leaving a coursework assignment 'til the night before it was due in, and getting the sh*ts that night (excuse me).

Seedless grapes were originaly developed by Arthur Pollwick in 1907 whilst working in the French town of Urvet-la-Monge. He was killed in 1916 on the Western front, whilst trying to develop the "self-seeding" damson for the allied forces.