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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Dog-eared was a style of dress favoured by the poor in England between 1642 and 1751. It was later replaced by the style of dress known as Rag-n-bone in the late 1700's. There is no public record of what the poor were wearing inbetween these periods!
Ah! What widey is missing is the fact that the poor 'tween the aforementioned dates wore nothing. Hence the term "What the dickens" was an expression of surprise or disapproval - later usurped by the literati in reference to Charles Dickens and his social opinions. "dickens" is a contraction of "dick ends" and was a form of euphemism in those days of yore when a quid was called a pound and a virgin, whilst much sought after, was a far thing.
"Dude! My father was a surf board and my mother was an awwwwwwwwesome wave. Totally."
Chris DeBurgh is the personification of all that is wholesome.
Chris DeBurgh is in fact the most powerful man in the country, and Keanu's half-brother.
I had an uncle who was once a skate board, but his wheels came off, and now he's just a short plank!
The flyleaf was invented and named by William Caxton following his discovery that children were removing the front and back pages of his publications in order to make paper aeroplanes.
Current thinking is that trees breathe in carbon dioxide and, effectively, seal it within their structure so that it is in turn sealed within the Earth when they die. Given that we have far too much CO2 in the atmosphere the answer is simple - chop down more trees.
Lemon Curd is the modern spelling of the tribal name of Lemon Kurd. This fearsome band of warriors frequent the foot hills on the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan (sorry my spelling is poor). They have a "sister" tribe that frequent the lowlands of Pakistan known as the "Lime Pickles"!!
A Rangoon is a special type of dinner jacket. Its made of white cotton with beige leather arm patches and is usualy worn by ex army officers. Its popularity has dwindled since the mid 1800's and it is seldom worn these days!
Sir Brent Cross invented the ice hockey puck in 1805 and later went on to invent the steam wheelbarrow in 1875.
The "Arab Strap" was not invented by Arabs. It was infact, invented in Scotland in 1647 by Gordon Highlander.
It is little known fact that both John Deer & David Brown both came up with the idea of the agracultural Tractor at the very same time!
Now the Easter is over, Cadbury's Creme Spam will be withdrawn from the shops until next year...
Creme Spam was invented by Sir Brent Cross in 1802, the same year in which Sir Brent Cross was invented by Creme Spam, and the Queen Mother was built by Brunel.
What are you on about
Answer or maybe you found a hobbie like getting out of your chair
Answer
Who are you and why are you on this site if were loosers then why are you on this
i stumbled oto it and dont talk to me like that at least ive got a life
Shut it i do have a life and if you dont shut it ill kick you a*** you little c***
Does your mummy tell you not to put the swear word you stupid arse
I dont want to get kicked of
Thats how sad you are you depend on this site its your life go out get a friend have a drink i bet you live with your mwa in a crappy council estate and you work as a bin man and your only thrill is going out to the bingo on a thursday night
*Maw
Actually jim i have a wife and my mum is dead i work as a teacher i do have mates so there you wank
What brilliant and witty reparteé!
All teachers are educated, articulate, and a pleasure to talk to.
There are three hundred and fifteen different spellings of the word "maw", all of them anagrams of "loss adjuster".
Im thirteen years of age and i scripted that because no one else was on andiwas bored
Gardeners beware! If you have recently experienced time-shift whilst hoeing your root vegetables, you may have a temporal vortex swede.
All 13 year olds should be allowed full and unfettered access to the web. It's a learning experience!
Your local greengrocer will remove the eyes from potatoes if you ask nicely.
plump] So will I.
Thick people are the same as clever, people only much wider......hence my nickname!
But clever people always put the (,'s) in the right place.....I am widey and I invented sliced bread..........
I am noballey and I invented both the bread knife and bread. Sadly, I never put two and two together.
That wasn't me. And I don't care what you say -- that was a great joke!
I'm not at home right now. I'm feeling wonderful. No coughing, no aching, no dry-heaves!
One of my fondest memories of my schoolboy years was leaving a coursework assignment 'til the night before it was due in, and getting the sh*ts that night (excuse me).
Seedless grapes were originaly developed by Arthur Pollwick in 1907 whilst working in the French town of Urvet-la-Monge. He was killed in 1916 on the Western front, whilst trying to develop the "self-seeding" damson for the allied forces.
One of my fondest memories from my schoolboy years was getting a glimps of stocking top from Miss Butley, as she was bending over to pick up a stray piece of chalk from the class room floor.....I got to see a bit more than that too, at a later date, but thats another story!!!
Mrs Dulcie Fishwick of Farnworth, Lancashire, is credited as the first women ever to run a full marathon dressed as Donald Duck (1962).
Napalm makes a great substitute spread if you happen to run out of marmite and it has a similar taste. The USAAF dropped 1.2 million tons of marmite on Vietnam during the Vietnam war, by accident. This was due to a clerical error which came to light several years after the conflict ended!!!!
This sentence may or may not be true, depending on the phase of the moon and who's keeping wicket for England.
The great crested newt is not really that great, being a mere 4" long. It is a very capable hunter though, as any earthworm will testify!
widey] The word women in your sentence was no mistake, I'm sure.
woman, women.............lose the W and you either have a place or some tell tale sign of the future!!!!! Still it was late at night when I posted, plus im stupid. Neither of which helps me very much.............sigh!!!!
Still, at least you play the sitar to Grade 7 competency.
The sitar was invented by deaf people who enjoyed the vibrations but were, unfortunately, clueless about the sound. It was actually invented in Cleveland and then exported to India by persons who were stuck in an airport and just got on the first plane that would take off. It became widely popular in India, especially because of the very long notes it could play. The record is 45 seconds, during which the note played varied slightly in half tones, but only slightly approached a whole tone. The sitar, also, by no coincidence, rhymes with guitar.
Two margarine tubs and an elastic band make an excellent emergency bra.
I'm afraid I'm crap on the Sitar, not bad on Guitar and Bass guitar though! Visit(http://www.papalazarus.com)for some proof!!! I leave all the weird sounding stuff to Mr Sideboard and his amazing synths..........
Nosferatu has a part time job selling ice cream in Seedley, Salford. I often see him on my way to the undertakers. He's a jolly nice chap and can hold 8 ice-cream cones in one hand, nearly a world record!!
My given name is Falstaff [Sir John Sack-and-sugar]. T'was Ol' Willy Shakespeare who made me immortal. He is my revered God and I have gone and outlived him, which has driven me to excessive drink and to carousing with loose women to lift me spirits *sic* what else could become a man who has no savior?
My name is Mick Thudge and I hold the record for holding ice cream cones in one hand: eighteen on February 30th, 1971.
Grimsby is a well known type of fishcake from the place of the same name.Its made using welks and a combination of seaweed....
Little Hampton is a condition often experienced by males aged 80 and above. It can also affect younger men if there is a sudden cold spell or the weather turns damp. It is also sometimes known as Turtles heading........
Turpentine is so named because highwaymen used to used it to clean their forks.
Roger Moore's Grandfather, Sir Henry Dart Moore was the main force behind the forming of Englands national parks. His Great Aunt, Miss Emily Avie Moore was the owner of the first Scotish Ski resort. Which was founded in 1907 outside the little village of Speennaghspraghha-Dhu........
Lionel Hampton is a condition experienced by men over 30. It is caused by extended periods of kneeling on the floor to play with their children's toy trains. It is rarely fatal, but can turn into Lionel Ritchie, a condition which common decency prevents me from describing any further.
Lionel Blair can be fatal.
[noballey] You're noballey till someballey loves you.
I am a mole and I live in hole. Failing that I enjoy wombling, although the city ordinances require the payment of an annual fee which means that I cannot womble for free.
I am a great fan of truncheons in salad, especially if lightly sauteed in sesame oil with a little oregano.
"'Ol' Dismal', that be 'is name. 'Twould do ye well to mind that as you wallow around in self-pity afore t' magistrate as 'e sentences ye," said Father Johnson to his flock, but the sheep never answered.
"BAAAA-men."
BAAAA-men: Not high in number nor do they enjoy kumquats. They are a curious folk with out right-side* tendons and inhabit the planes of Ikea. (N.B: *in obedience to biological discrepencies; those on the left)
All the letters on my keyboard are mixed up. If this is readable at all it is by pure good fortune.
[Dazed5] You are an infinite number of monkeys and I claim my five rupees.
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