Fridays are, statistically, the day the average person is most likely to:
A) Fall in love
B) Fall over a cliff
C) Discover a new breed of hampster.
These may be related, but I'll leave it to the scientists to work out.

Contrary to common belief, pot liquor does not improve with age.

Statistically, 25 out of every 96 people have plague.

Fimo is the meaning of life.

I love talor.

I am a wanted woman in eight East European countries, and in certain parts of Belgium, Guadeloupe and Alaska.

Freeze dried Tigers make good occasional tables until they thaw out!

Jersey is the biggest island in the wool range of islands, the next being Tank-top and the smallest being Vest

Amazing Grace was really quite ordinary, apart from her ability to gargle live tree frogs to the tune of auld lang syne

[widey] You forgot the tiny island of Sock, which despite having a population of 0, has the largest legislative assembly in the world, at 30,000 members, each representing a single pebble.

No matter how hard I try, I can not find a shop that stocks replacement sachets for my orange blossom scented desk-top organiser.

The Island of Sock famous for the wrecking of The SS Cor-Blimey in 1857. All hands lost in the great storm that raged on the night of July 32nd. Gone for ever its cargo of Mule slippers, bound for the gold miners of Mexico!

I can tell already, this is going to be one of the best days of my life.

This was the best day of my life. (I've travelled back in time to tell you.) Put it all on Three-legged Hooligan in the 3:30 at Uttoxeter.

The best day of my life was Octember 1857 when I invented Snerge as an alternative to Fluxomite, alas I woke up and it was March the 24th 2004....sigh

Thrussocks can be manufactured cheaply from forty copies of the latest National Geographic magazine, two Imperial pints of strawberry purée, and a kilt of any Lowland tartan. varying any of these ingredients would be an expensive mistake.

Our garden gnome is a Mormon, and wishes to have a polygamous relationship with as many as five pebbles.

Weymouth is replicated in miniature by a small town of pine cones on Dartmoor. This masterpiece of spruce-based art was constructed by a famously misguided exile of Weymouth who took the observation that he was pining for his birthplace rather too literally.

Gerundive verb forms must not be taken orally.

Monounsaturated fats are available in stereo to those who ask.

The lumber trade is so named for the back rests which used to manufactured from log halves.