In a shock announcement today, Scientists have confirmed that Mr Blobby is the next stage of human evolution.

In a later announcement World-President-for-Life Blobby announced that the scientists were wrong.

I am Kapil Dev.

The Nightjar [Caprimulgus europaeus] was called Goatsucker during four separate incidents in the 1980's.

If you drink milk through a blue straw, it can cure Tennis Elbow.

But beware, for drinking goat's milk througha a blue straw on the third night after a full moon can cause gangrene!

Gangrene is in fact, turquoise.

Last Friday was the best day of my life.

Fridays are, statistically, the day the average person is most likely to:
A) Fall in love
B) Fall over a cliff
C) Discover a new breed of hampster.
These may be related, but I'll leave it to the scientists to work out.

Contrary to common belief, pot liquor does not improve with age.

Statistically, 25 out of every 96 people have plague.

Fimo is the meaning of life.

I love talor.

I am a wanted woman in eight East European countries, and in certain parts of Belgium, Guadeloupe and Alaska.

Freeze dried Tigers make good occasional tables until they thaw out!

Jersey is the biggest island in the wool range of islands, the next being Tank-top and the smallest being Vest

Amazing Grace was really quite ordinary, apart from her ability to gargle live tree frogs to the tune of auld lang syne