'Ons' are what physicists are all about. Neutrons are novices in the field. Protons are those in favour of having physicists within the scientific community. Bosons are rather bombastic physicists and are sometimes referred to as Mesons. Gluons are physicists who will not change their outlook regardless of experimental results. Gravitons are the most serious of all physicists whilst Photons have a much lighter outlook. Anoraks on the other hand are simply seen as the hoods of the scientific community.

Trust me to forget! Dunx's statement was correct. An addition, though; Muons are not only those physicists from the family feline but also that of the seagulls. Quarks, whilst not quite fitting into this group, are nevertheless are duck-like, sometimes they are up or down (i.e. at the top or the bottom) and can be strange or charming. Odd that.

Bare back rides are much safer than Bear back rides! If unsure which is which, stop and ask a friendly Mountie (mounty???), never trust the word of a Grizzly they are compulisve liars, and have bad breath and poor taste when it comes to home furniture!!!!

compulisve is like compulsive, only wrong.....see above!!!

Nits are the egg like structures layed by the common steel louse!

Tins are a dyslexic form of Nits found on the scapl of humans.

Tins are a dyslexic form of Nits found on the scapl of humans

I have a typing stutter!!!!!!!

In a shock announcement today, Scientists have confirmed that Mr Blobby is the next stage of human evolution.

In a later announcement World-President-for-Life Blobby announced that the scientists were wrong.

I am Kapil Dev.

The Nightjar [Caprimulgus europaeus] was called Goatsucker during four separate incidents in the 1980's.

If you drink milk through a blue straw, it can cure Tennis Elbow.

But beware, for drinking goat's milk througha a blue straw on the third night after a full moon can cause gangrene!

Gangrene is in fact, turquoise.

Last Friday was the best day of my life.

Fridays are, statistically, the day the average person is most likely to:
A) Fall in love
B) Fall over a cliff
C) Discover a new breed of hampster.
These may be related, but I'll leave it to the scientists to work out.

Contrary to common belief, pot liquor does not improve with age.

Statistically, 25 out of every 96 people have plague.

Fimo is the meaning of life.

I love talor.

I am a wanted woman in eight East European countries, and in certain parts of Belgium, Guadeloupe and Alaska.

Freeze dried Tigers make good occasional tables until they thaw out!

Jersey is the biggest island in the wool range of islands, the next being Tank-top and the smallest being Vest

Amazing Grace was really quite ordinary, apart from her ability to gargle live tree frogs to the tune of auld lang syne

[widey] You forgot the tiny island of Sock, which despite having a population of 0, has the largest legislative assembly in the world, at 30,000 members, each representing a single pebble.

No matter how hard I try, I can not find a shop that stocks replacement sachets for my orange blossom scented desk-top organiser.

The Island of Sock famous for the wrecking of The SS Cor-Blimey in 1857. All hands lost in the great storm that raged on the night of July 32nd. Gone for ever its cargo of Mule slippers, bound for the gold miners of Mexico!

I can tell already, this is going to be one of the best days of my life.

This was the best day of my life. (I've travelled back in time to tell you.) Put it all on Three-legged Hooligan in the 3:30 at Uttoxeter.

The best day of my life was Octember 1857 when I invented Snerge as an alternative to Fluxomite, alas I woke up and it was March the 24th 2004....sigh

Thrussocks can be manufactured cheaply from forty copies of the latest National Geographic magazine, two Imperial pints of strawberry purée, and a kilt of any Lowland tartan. varying any of these ingredients would be an expensive mistake.

Our garden gnome is a Mormon, and wishes to have a polygamous relationship with as many as five pebbles.