Cats are especially good at subatomic physics, particularly string theory.

Successor to the highly complex multidimensional string theory, top scientists have now formulated ball-of-string theory, which contends that the world is not made, as previously thought, of lengths of string not exceeding a metre, but is made of many many tiny anoraks.

'Ons' are what physicists are all about. Neutrons are novices in the field. Protons are those in favour of having physicists within the scientific community. Bosons are rather bombastic physicists and are sometimes referred to as Mesons. Gluons are physicists who will not change their outlook regardless of experimental results. Gravitons are the most serious of all physicists whilst Photons have a much lighter outlook. Anoraks on the other hand are simply seen as the hoods of the scientific community.

Trust me to forget! Dunx's statement was correct. An addition, though; Muons are not only those physicists from the family feline but also that of the seagulls. Quarks, whilst not quite fitting into this group, are nevertheless are duck-like, sometimes they are up or down (i.e. at the top or the bottom) and can be strange or charming. Odd that.

Bare back rides are much safer than Bear back rides! If unsure which is which, stop and ask a friendly Mountie (mounty???), never trust the word of a Grizzly they are compulisve liars, and have bad breath and poor taste when it comes to home furniture!!!!

compulisve is like compulsive, only wrong.....see above!!!

Nits are the egg like structures layed by the common steel louse!

Tins are a dyslexic form of Nits found on the scapl of humans.

Tins are a dyslexic form of Nits found on the scapl of humans

I have a typing stutter!!!!!!!

In a shock announcement today, Scientists have confirmed that Mr Blobby is the next stage of human evolution.

In a later announcement World-President-for-Life Blobby announced that the scientists were wrong.

I am Kapil Dev.

The Nightjar [Caprimulgus europaeus] was called Goatsucker during four separate incidents in the 1980's.

If you drink milk through a blue straw, it can cure Tennis Elbow.

But beware, for drinking goat's milk througha a blue straw on the third night after a full moon can cause gangrene!

Gangrene is in fact, turquoise.

Last Friday was the best day of my life.

Fridays are, statistically, the day the average person is most likely to:
A) Fall in love
B) Fall over a cliff
C) Discover a new breed of hampster.
These may be related, but I'll leave it to the scientists to work out.

Contrary to common belief, pot liquor does not improve with age.

Statistically, 25 out of every 96 people have plague.