If you would like to get more pleasure out of owning a Pet Bunny Rabbit than you ever imagined was possible, ... if you'd like to learn how to make your cherished pet happy, cuddly, and playful ... if you'd like to understand exactly what (s)he needs, wants -even what (s)he might be thinking - or if you just want to know how to get your Pet Bunny Rabbit to like you better, then this might be the most important letter you'll ever read. When ingested, rabbits may cause nausea, diarrhea, intestinal distension and vomiting. However hamsters are generally regarded as non toxic and no fatalities from ingestion have been reported.

All papal bulls are written in non-toxic crayon too.

I once had a papier maché bull, but I couldn't leave it out in the rain.

All cardinals are lightly soaked in vinegar overnight following their elevation to the post.

Spring Water bounces if dropped on the floor.

Heavy water does the same, but only after it has punched a hole in the floor (or floors) and hit Mother Earth.

I had a courgette and pineapple chew-bar for breakfast this morning.

In Britain the roads do not have a right-hand side, and all bends turn clockwise.

[Pnnrojnnoy] Fnnizzeep! Yizibble!

The fifth month has recently been renamed "Should"

All water on Earth is called Mike.

[Thos] That's not even funnier once you actually figure it out.

George Bush's given first name was Rachel.

All you need to make your own helicopter is a bag of dried banana chips and an octopus.

[flerdle] Psst. You forgot the packet of grass seeds.

Projoy] Psst. The grass seed are only required if you have have a Premiere Tofu account with HSBC bank or a horse.

Obviously, that should have read "if you have have a Premiere Tofu account with a horse, or HSBC bank."

Following a recount, it was recently discovered there were only six seas and a big pond.

The phrase "Wham! Bam! Strawberry Jam!" is actually a prophecy from the mid-14th century made by a delirious fishwife-turned-wisewoman about some period of the future. She always made these outbursts in threes, which is why she was never prosecuted as a witch (she maintained that one prophecy came from each of the members of the Trinity) and they have since been interpreted as referring to consecutive decades. So far, scholars have identified certain aspects related to world and entertainment events but are somewhat perplexed by the final idea.

My Human Resources Department at work have all been issued with personnel stereos.