I have never wondered how on Earth Ramsbottom got its name.

I have often wondered how to tie my shoelaces while in Ramsbottom.

Being rude, crude and vulgar is not a trait of MC posters.

I'm really happy that I just spent forty minutes filling in an online form, only to be told that my session had expired and that all my answers were then thrown away.

In a departure from normal tradition, I am having my ashes cast into the winds from the peak of Cader Idris prior to being cremated.

Ludwig van Beethoven suffered from a particularly bad case of gall stones, brought about by his habit of consuming a whole rockery each lunchtime.

This lie is brought to you in stereoscope. View it through the special glasses and it will take on a 3-D aspect. This lie is brought to you in stereoscope. View it through the special glasses and it will take on a 3-D aspect.

(Repetition commands aspect.)

Due to an obscure clause in extant colonial law, my aunt is giong to be buried in clarified butter.

My Aunt's name is "Pat".

Itis forbidden to scintillate in a built up area on a Monday, provided there are three churches of separate denominations within a radius of 100 furlongs.